What is equilbration?

We all have an inner voice that controls everything we do and creates our current reality. This voice creates conscious thoughts and unconscious ones and can often be limiting, creating an environment that doesn't challenge our existence and keeps us safe and comfortable (or what appears to be comfortable as it ensures we don't push for change). So how do we create this inner voice and more importantly how do we break through it!

Between the ages of 0-8yrs old 85% of our neural pathways are formed. We are having more 40,000 thoughts a day and once we reach the age of 8 we are only have 4 new thoughts a day. That means that majority of what we are thinking is just a well rehearsed version of our past, meaning we have had most of our thoughts before. During these formative years of our life we have experiences that shape who we are as humans. This is done through the memories and emotions that we attach to these experiences.

Let me explain that a little deeper. We live in a dualistic universe, which means that there is an opposite to everything in life, day / night, good / bad, happy / sad, peace / war etc. Humans are the same, we are dualistic, the only difference is that we can only experience things one way and we fracture up and down through our emotions as we experience things. If you have a think about your life and experiences you can see how your emotions fluctuate up and down, experiencing periods of elation and periods of depression. This is because all human emotion is bipolar, meaning it fluctuates. It is either one emotion or another and we move in and out of these emotions.

When we have an experience we are receiving information through our senses (touch, taste, sound, sight, ) and we do the same as we emanate information into the world, through our senses from within our central nervous system. It is through our nervous system / our senses we create a perception of how an experience occurred and we attach a memory and emotion to that experience based on our perception of how it occurred. This creates a lopsided perception in that we only experienced it one way, for example happy or sad, good or bad etc.

Let me give you an example of this. I grew up with a father that was an alcoholic. He was what I would describe as an emotionally abusive and manipulative human. One day when I was around 8 years old I was sitting in the living room with my older brother playing cards in the living room. We were happily playing when my father entered the room. He saw me shuffling the cards and stated “that’s not how you do it, let me show you how to shuffle properly”. See my father had a great party trick of being able to shuffle the cards like a card shark in the casino, I guess developed from a youth spent gambling in the army. He showed both my brother and I how to do it, how to hold our hands and get the knack of having the cards just fall within your hands. We sat and practiced and practiced. I picked it up relatively quickly and was able to achieve it within only a few attempts. My brother on the other hand struggled with this task and eventually threw the cards on the table and said this is too hard, I give up. This sent my father into a rage and he yelled at my brother “you useless boy! This is why you will never amount to anything. Why can’t you just be more like your sister!”. Now would you agree that in this scenario there is negatives for my brother, me and my father? Would you agree that this created fear in me and sadness in my brother? That perhaps feelings of I’m not enough in my brother and pity in me towards him and shame in me for doing something better than him that caused for him to be treated that way? Now did my brother create that feeling, did my father or did I?? I did! If you ask my brother about this scenario he will very honestly tell you he doesn’t remember it or at least not that way.

This experience created what is referred to an inner most dominating thought as it was repeated all throughout my childhood. Every time I did something well, good grades, won a swimming race, performed in a concert, my perception was that my accomplishments weren’t my own as my father didn’t praise me, he belittled my brother. Why can’t you be better? Why can’t you be more like your sister? So I created the reality to not be to good at anything, as it will hurt the people closet to me. At least that’s the unconscious thought that kept me small, the conscious thought that was created was “you are mediocre, you are not enough, who are you to be great?”. These thoughts ensured that I stayed small and didn’t hurt anyone around me.

Now I could have gone through my life believing this was true. But it was just a story!

It is experiences, memories and emotions such as this one that create our personal reality or our personality. We all have our own story and inner most dominating thought, “I’m not enough”, “I was abandoned”, “I wasn’t loved”, “I was abused”. But we are not our story!! We have an obligation to ourselves and to our loved ones to break through that story and the glass ceiling that is created by these limiting thoughts that create our reality.

Now the thing is that you can’t create a new reality based on the thoughts and emotions that created the one that you are in! It’s like yelling at a tape recorder to change but not pressing stop. Yelling at it won’t change it. You can’t break through these thoughts consciously as they are neural pathways that have been created in our brain and the only way to break through them is to sever that neural pathway. That’s where the process called equilibration comes into it.

I went through this experience about 7 years ago now. Within an hour I was able to see what was actually happening all those years ago in the living room with my brother. You see the truth is if you look closer at that experience there are so many blessings that there is nothing to hold on to and nothing to forgive about what my father did. In fact all he was doing was loving his children. You see after my father yelled at my brother and he left the room, the first thing I did was go to my brother and console him. I made him laugh and we left the living room and went and found something else to do together. I am to this day extremely close to my brother and my father lost his older brother when he was young, someone who he loved dearly. He was pushing to get love and connection from the one place he had it and lost, in his brother. I also went on to become a nurse, a career that required nurturing, caring and strength which are all the traits and characteristics I needed to deal with my father being that way and to support my brother. My father was ensuring that I had everything I needed to become the person I am today. Now I don’t forgive my father, because I now see that just as there were negatives in that experience there were also many blessings so there is nothing to forgive and if I could change it I wouldn’t. If you had sat in front of me and told me all of this before I went through the equilibration process I would have told you Bullshit!! (For lack of a better word), “my father was an arsehole who only cared about himself and drinking. I needed to serve that neural pathway and see the lopsided perception I had created for myself.

Since I have gone through this process my life has changed significantly since I no longer hold onto those self limiting thoughts and I understand I am not my story, I am so much more.

I have a thriving career in nursing as an executive member of the health care team in a major health service, I am the director of 2 x companies, financially I am abundant, I travel the world every year with my family (not on credit) and I have a connected and loving relationship with my husband which is the happiest in the last 7 years that is has been in the previous 24yrs after previously being separated twice.

After experiencing this for myself and watching my husband also go through the process, I felt an obligation to learn the process so I could help others. Also, something that has been created out of that inner most dominating thought as I now help others be the best versions of themselves and to not play small. I have now been able to help countless others go through this process including my own children and family. If you would like to experience this process, which only takes between 1hr - 1 1/2hr then please reach out and book in for a call with me so we can work out what your inner most dominating thought is so you can break through it and stop living in the story of your past.